i am told often, by well-meaning people, that i make life more difficult for myself and my kids when i let them “manipulate” me. one of my cuties is particularly attached to me and needs a “cuddle” (to be picked up and carried around) not less than five trillion times a day 😉. usually by dinner time, when their dad gets home, i feel like i need a break from giving them my attention so i can just make dinner. this is my issue, not theirs. i found the lack of sleep for the first couple of years beyond my capabilities, so i cried a lot and thought i couldn’t do it. i found it hard to be needed 24 hours a day. however, i am happy to feed my boys if they feel like it is too difficult for them or lie in bed with them if they are upset. sometimes i make comments about being tired or joke about my barnacle son, but…
i was thinking about it yesterday, reflecting on my own experience with being called needy, and realised that ignoring ‘clingy’ people will only make them feel more insecure. expecting babies and young children to be more independent than they are naturally ready to be, seems counterproductive to me. i was a child who needed a lot of emotional propping up but was just seen as over sensitive and was often told to stop being that way – by a lot of adults.
i am turning 35 this year and am only now ready to write the course on how to love yourself as you are, and i know i will have people older than me in the work shops. it doesn’t have to be this way. when did we stop being sensitive and caring? i am not going to be that way anymore, nor am i going to let people convince me to be harder than i am anymore. i found yoga and it has helped me remember who i truly am and now i love ME fiercely!
i will need to work harder on being a more compassionate mother as it is can feel like a particularly demanding job at times… but that is MY issue – not my kid’s. i can be a better person because i AM a better person. i don’t have to stop treating them like babies because they are babies! i wonder, had generations before had not been through some of the hell they endured, which made them hard, if many of us would now be healthy in mind, body and spirit?
i feel grateful that i have the freedom to be who i am now and i feel hopeful that i can pass this onto others. TODAY i promise to be the best version of me. just remember, you can be who you are naturally, without guilt. it’s okay to root for yourself! it’s okay to be soft and squishy, it’s okay to need to be alone, AND it’s okay to need to rely on other people too. give yourself permission to be happy despite how much it may bother other people.